Sometimes We Need To Listen

Earlier on I got into a bit of heated chat with my mom about things such as people in our lives, and where I'd go to school. With everything she said I quickly turned it down with a smug, smartass remark. This continued for about 2 hours, until something inside of me finally told me to shut up.

Every smartass comment I made was something to bring her down. It was me telling her "I know what's better for myself and for you than even you do." Just like in many spirited debates, you exchange blows; trying to knock the other person down, make them vulnerable, and then win the debate with one final punch.

But as we reached the 2 hour mark, something inside of me finally made me listen. Instead of having this stone heart and these closed ears that I had been using for much of the conversation, I finally opened up to listen. And as I listened I learned something very valuable. We all know we're very quick to criticize others on their way of life, and as they defend their decisions, just as quickly, we turn down their defense. We continue going at them for their reasoning for things, and we keep telling them why they'd be better off living another way, or approaching something from a different angle.

But when you stop to listen, and I mean TRULY listen, you begin to get an appreciation for what someone is saying. And as she went on saying what she felt needed to be said, I realized that life would be much easier if we just stopped to listen every once in a while.

See, we tend to get the notion that we know what's best for people. For some reason we believe we know the magical answer to everyone's problems, and if their logic doesn't match ours, then frankly, it just isn't logic.

I feel I'm struggling to get my point across, so let me describe it in the best detail possible: As I sat there silently listening to her talk, about her opinions and her feelings, why she has done certain things the way she has done, I realized I was wrong for questioning her. Everything she said made perfect sense, she had the perfect reasoning for doing certain things, whether it was why she's going back to this church we've tried to attend multiple times, or the way she's going to go about life now that she's healthy. She believed strongly in what she was doing, so strongly in fact, that listening to her really humbled me. Maybe it's hard to get across from reading. Maybe it's just one of those interpersonal moments where you're just hit with that "Wow" factor, but it really just shut me up and made me think to a degree in which I haven't done lately.

She also mentioned about being thankful for the little things, and I know I haven't been as thankful as I should for so many amazing things in my life, here are some of them

• I'm not thankful enough for having a mom who always has my back, even in my darkest times.
• I'm not thankful enough for my grandparents, to both of whom I am like a child to them, and they're like parents to me.
• I'm not thankful enough for getting accepted into colleges, despite only having my grade 10 education at this time last year.
• I'm not thankful enough for my sisters. Who I know will grow into amazing, beautiful people.
• I'm not thankful enough for my friends. While it's a tight circle, it's an amazing one.
• I'm not thankful enough for my job. Where I get to interact with others, and golf for free.
• I'm not thankful enough for the roof over my shoulders, and food on my plate.
• I'm not thankful enough for where I am, and even for where I've been.

 The list could go on and on, but I think you get the point. I've been so many places in my life, not necessarily physically, but mentally. I've dived deep into myself, getting to such a dark point in my life 2 years ago, to being where I am now. And while I do think about how far I've come quite often, and how lucky I am, I don't think I take enough time to truly sit back and look around at my life and just how amazing it is.

So, moral of the story is, sometimes we really just need to listen. We need to stop assuming we know what's best for people, and let them live their lives based on what they feel is best for them. Just as I want people to back off me for my decision making, I need to back off others. Just as I want people to trust that I'll go in the right direction, I need to trust others.