I've been thinking a lot lately about if I'm a good person or not, and what it means to be good or bad.
I've come to the conclusion; neither really exist.
Sure, there are definitely people who are solely bad people. Rapists, murderers, racists, guys named Donald Trump, just to name a few. These people are bad people, there's really no arguing that. But when it comes to the general population - when it comes to most of us - I don't think it's so black & white.
Part of that is because good and bad is subjective. Your idea of whether or not I'm good or bad really depends on your relationship with me, which of course, is subject to change over time. You can consider me good for years, you can even consider me the best, but once something goes wrong, I'm suddenly a bad person to you.
I always get a kick out of people who trash their ex. Sometimes, it's fairly warranted. Sometimes you realize you were caught up with a bad person, but it's important to remember, you once *thought* they were good. There was a time, whether it was a couple weeks, a few months, or even years; where you liked them, where they weren't all the bad things you're saying about them. This becomes even more funny when the person trashes their ex and and ends up getting back together with them, just another example of how subjective good & bad can be.
This has been something I've struggled with lately. It's a lot easier to ignore someone telling you you're the best, when later on they're calling you a bad person. Negativity, of course, seems to hold more weight with us when it's coming from other people, so we really take it to heart.
Another reason why I think good & bad isn't so black & white is because we have motives. Sometimes, we do good intentionally, because we really want to because we really care about someone or something. But sometimes, we do good because we expect something in return, or because we have an ulterior motive behind it. We also do bad; sometimes intentionally, and sometimes not. Sometimes we really set out to hurt a person, and sometimes we do bad accidentally, because we're so caught up in trying to do good for us, we don't see the harm we may be causing someone else.
Ultimately, I think it's important to not read too deeply into our actions, into if we're good or bad. Self-examination is important. It really is. It's good to look at yourself and ask yourself if you can do better. But, I don't think we should try and view others, or ourselves, as good or bad. We're all just people, and we're trying to live this life and figure things out and do our best.
That's really all we can do, is just do our best.
