My Journey Into The World Of Online Dating

It's still looked at with a raised eyebrow. It's still talked about like it's a fantasy world for people who can't talk to the opposite sex in person; it's also one of the fastest growing ways of meeting people.

According to Match.com, 1 in 5 relationships now start online. When you look at that as a percentage, it's not a lot, it's less than 25%, but when you look at the growth of the internet, and how it being used regularly is still fairly young, 20% isn't that small of a number. Remember, online doesn't just mean dating websites, it could also mean Myspace (haha), Facebook, Twitter, or any other social networking/sharing site you can think of.

Anyways, online dating continues to be looked at as this strange thing, yet something that I think subconsciously, many of us have an interest in. That interest + curiosity lea me to create a profile on OKCupid.

At first I thought I'd just set one up just to check the site out. I used a side email I use for things like Twitter and what not, just in case I wanted to use my real one if I ended up liking what I was seeing, and I sort of did.

The first day was more getting to know the site, and sending out mass messages to about 35 females (wheels, right?). I wasn't really sure what to expect in terms of messaging back, but it became quickly apparent very few do, as it said on their profile "Replies selectively". But I weathered the initial storm of frustration and kept going, I tried opening messages like "You should strongly consider introducing me to your cats" or "If you're cool with being my 3rd favorite female behind my Mom and my dog, we should chat". I even did quite a bit of research on things people would say in their opening message. Some were funny, some were plain stupid, and some were just people being themselves. But what I slowly began to figure out was that on a dating site, females must receive multiple messages per day. It's sort of like lining them up, and lining the males up across from them, and letting the males do their research and choose accordingly. This therefore gives the females an interesting sense of entitlement, and puts you in a position where you need to stand out.

So about a day into it I finally started getting somewhere. Being the persistent (annoying) person that I am, if I noticed a female looked at my profile but decided to not respond, I would message them a second time and THAT actually got the ball rolling. The problem is the messaging is very strange, as is the step up of knowing when someone is online. With some, it shows they are always online, leading you to believe they ignored you, when really, they haven't even read your message.

Now in terms of actual messaging conversation, I've really only had two right now. In one we're currently discussing Pets and school, and in another we're discussing growing old together and eating Swiss Chalet on Sunday while we gossip about the other old folks in the neighborhood.

So, what's the best part of the messaging system you say? There is NO pressure and NO emotions. If you lose a messaging buddy, oh well, on to the next one. It's a good way of avoiding emotions getting in the way, and once you feel comfortable enough, you can consider meeting them.


Overall:
 Overall I'd have to say I quite like it so far. It provides a means in which you can connect with people and maybe something will develop, but you also have no obligation to use it whatsoever. Simply put - you can't lose. If you don't find someone then you're just in the same position you were before, and if you find someone great! It worked.

Even if you only go on a few dates and nothing comes of it it's still worthwhile. There is never any harm done is getting to meet and chat with new people. Socially, it gets you out and interacting with people, which can end up helping your self esteem and also make you learn things about yourself, through those interactions.

The main reason I'm writing this blog though is to get rid of those beliefs that online dating is scummy and strange. It's 2012, and the internet has become a vital means for keeping up to date with news, sharing and learning, and that will only continue to grow.

Are there some weirdos out there? Sure. Are some people on there only looking for one night stands? Absolutely. But there's a lot more to it than the strangely large number of Bisexual women, and the obese girls that describe themselves as either "Curvy" or "having a little extra".

One thing I do believe though is that for someone of my age, online dating probably isn't going to work out. I think anywhere between 18-23, people aren't necessarily on there looking for lifelong partners, and if they were, they probably wouldn't be so selective with who they respond to, and would actually take the time to get to know someone.

In the end, I think online dating is a viable means of meeting someone. I've heard stories of success, and I've heard stories of failure, both of which happen online and in the outside world. Online dating isn't for everyone, but for the lucky few who have met their lover on there, I'm sure they're glad they signed up.


P.S - I will continue to update this as I go along and things progress. Meeting someone is obviously the biggest part of online dating, and that's when things get interesting.


Chris